Thursday, July 5, 2012

Mommy's Swim Diaper Fail...Times Two!

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I am a self proclaimed planner.  I plan months in advance if I know something is coming that needs planning.  Birthdays, Christmas, day trips.  You name it, and if it can be planned for, I guarantee I will be planning.  Well, fourth of July was no different.  Every year we go over to my aunt and uncles house, eat yummy food, enjoy good company, and swim.  This is the first year that I have had two kids to take to the party, and with that came a whole new level of planning.  It involved a lot of digging through closets, vacuum storage bags, and brain wracking to find the stuff I was looking for.  I had to plan.  I had to make sure I had swim suits, rash guards, sunscreen, floaties, and towels.  I knew I was missing something...just couldn't put my finger on it.  Then two days before, it came to me--swim diapers!!!  They have to have swim diapers.  Which by the way, it should be a crime against parents how much the diaper companies charge for a pack of swim diapers.  It is highway robbery!

So July third, I decide I have to be super mommy and schlep the kids to Target all by myself while daddy is at school.  I can do it, right?  Piece of cake, they are well behaved children who always do what I say, never make me raise my voice, and are the complete picture of obedience....Oh wait, sorry, I think I drifted off to "In my dreams" land for a moment.  With Declan strapped to my front in a baby carrier, and Liam sitting unstrapped in the cart (stupid target changed their carts, now the strap on the cart over doesn't work.  It is the little things that can make such a difference in a mommy's sanity level I tell you!)  The shopping trip went more like "Liam, if you listen to mommy and are good, I will get you Chick-fil-A."  And then the hour of  "mommy, I want Chick-a-fil-a (its how he says it)!!" Well, eventually the outrageously priced swim diapers where secured in the car, as well as both children.  Ok, one minor mommy victory.

Fast forward to fourth of July morning.  The kids' swim bag was beautifully packed, clothes accounted for, sunscreen wrangled, towles stacked, and three pairs of swim diapers for each kid.  Perfect, right?  No.

Mommy swim diaper fail number one--

Since my husband was cooking the food we were bringing and we wanted it hot, I took the kids by myself so they could swim for a little while.  I had slathered them with sunscreen, we were all in our suits, all I had to do was get there, get them out of the car, set up our gear, and jump in the beautiful pool.  I took my oldest in first.  We got situated and rushed into the pool, got in the cool water and started splashing around have a grand time, video camera rolling and everything so that grandma could see the kids swimming.  Five minutes into this, I pick up my son, see his swim suit slip down and realize that after all the trouble I went through to make sure that I went and got swim diapers, I had not even put it on him!  My sister was conveniently rolling the video camera on us when I came to the realization that he was still in his regular diaper.  I stop mid sentence, lift him out of the pool so fast you would think it was on fire, and then just stand there in disbelief that all my planning had failed. Words don't do it justice, the video does (sorry I cant post it).  Regular diapers absorb an insane amount of water by the way.  The picture up top is him after we got him into his swim diaper and getting him put back together so he can go back in.  Ok, so that was diaper fail number one.

Mommy swim diaper fail number two--

If you read back a few paragraphs, you will notice that in my wonderful packing job of our swim gear, I neglected to mention anything about extra regular diapers being packed.  Well after I got the kids out of the pool, I realized I didn't have any of their diapers with me, and frankly, when your little boy is standing there stark naked, you really don't want to take much extra time to go find them.  I thought brilliantly to myself "Self, just put another swim diaper on him, it will be just fine.  When daddy gets here, you can go fish some out of the car."  So I did just that. My littlest guy had not wet his diaper, so I was able to put his regular diaper back on him.  Unfortunately, five minutes after putting Liam in a clean swim diaper, I look down at him and he is standing in a puddle, with soaked shorts.  Um..what happened dude???  "Mommy, I peed" was his answer.  Yes, I could see that that was the case, but I couldn't understand why he was standing in pee.  Then I realized...for the same reason they can wear these diapers in the pool without them absorbing every iota of water, is the same reason they would not absorb pee on dry land.  Woops!!  Guess I should have taken the time to go fish out a real diaper.  Lesson learned.  Too bad it was at the expense of my son's dignity.  Good thing they probably don't remember much from this age, right?

So the takeaway from all this--

1) Check to make sure you implement all the wonderful planning that was done
2) Swim diapers absorb nothing...they just make parents think they are keeping the pool cleaner that if the     kids weren't wearing one at all....(I life guarded at a public pool for 6 years...this revelation does NOT make me feel better about those 6 years...)

If you read this whole thing, you're a saint, and I hope you don't think too much less of me :)

1 comment:

  1. Swim diapers don't do much for number 1 but it sure keeps number 2 from floating around while you're swimming! Ha ha


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